Ish vs. Megan P. [tourist season in Florida]

[17:09] ishw: do tourists tend to drive poorly.
[17:09] ladyfoxfyre: yes
[17:09] ladyfoxfyre: and the majority of people who are tourists here are from M-states
[17:09] ladyfoxfyre: Michigan, Missouri, Minnesota.
[17:09] ishw: M-states?
[17:09] ladyfoxfyre: Massachusetts
[17:10] ishw: is there something wrong with the states whose names start with M.
[17:10] ishw: how about the F-states.
[17:10] ladyfoxfyre: yeah, they are bad drivers
[17:10] ladyfoxfyre: M-states
[17:10] ishw: and the N-states?
[17:11] ladyfoxfyre: it’s just that the people who tend to drive down here are retired, and old, and old = crappy drivers
[17:11] ishw: do you mean that all M-state people are old and crappy.
[17:11] ishw: ergo retired drivers
[17:11] ladyfoxfyre: yes, I am willing after extensive experience to make that declaration
[17:11] ishw: you’ve made no comment about the F and N-states
[17:12] ladyfoxfyre: F states are fine
[17:12] ladyfoxfyre: there are only one of us
[17:12] ishw: good
[17:12] ishw: N?
[17:12] ladyfoxfyre: N states are nebraska and north carolina and north dakota, which are all North states, which suck anyway
[17:12] ishw: how about North Florida
[17:12] ladyfoxfyre: they’re okay, but they haven’t seceded from South Florida
[17:13] ishw: good, otherwise they could give you the 4 times higher rate at the university.
[17:13] ishw: the Confederates I mean
[17:13] ladyfoxfyre: yeah, we do have a relatively low tuition but it just went up 15%
[17:13] ishw: inflation!
[17:13] ishw: i didn’t know it was this bad though.

Ish vs. Megan P. [the root beer float / Brown American Cows.]

[22:54] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: are you mad
[22:54] Pandora: you scoop an ice cream
[22:54] Pandora: and you place it into a cup of root beer
[22:54] Pandora: and the two mix together sort of, but the ice cream is still frozen mostly
[22:54] Pandora: and then you drink/eat it
[22:54] Pandora: how can you put ketchup on pizza and lecture me on food?
[22:55] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: that’s mad.
[22:55] Pandora: I’ll make it for you some time
[22:55] Pandora: you’ll like it
[22:55] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: how can you put ice-cream in a liquid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[22:55] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: that’s just so totally
[22:55] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: insane.
[22:55] Pandora: it’s not insane, can you put a liquid on an ice cream?
[22:55] Pandora: then you can put an ice cream in a liquid
[22:57] Pandora: ketchup pizza. that’s all I have to say on this subject anymore.
[22:57] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: how can you put something very cold made of milk into water
[22:57] Pandora: it’s not water
[22:58] Pandora: okay we’re done here
[22:58] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: insane
[22:58] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: !
[22:58] Pandora: you try it
[22:59] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: it’s not possible here
[22:59] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: it’s forbidden in europe
[22:59] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: it’s just too much Against
[23:00] Pandora: okay well that’s why you’re not progressing any farther
[23:00] Pandora: because you’re afraid of mixing ice cream and water
[23:00] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: we never drop ice-cream in water.
[23:00] Pandora: why do you think soda is water?
[23:00] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: we consider this to be a stupid accident and a wasted ice-cream.
[23:01] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: yes, it’s bubbly water
[23:01] Pandora: it’s brown for god’s sake.
[23:01] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: do you mean the color changes much
[23:01] Pandora: no, you’re thinking of soda water
[23:01] Pandora: root beer is like coke
[23:01] Pandora: coca-cola
[23:02] Pandora: brown
[23:02] Pandora: corn syrup
[23:02] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: how can you eat ice-cream which is
[23:02] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: floating in water.
[23:02] Pandora: it’s not floating
[23:02] Pandora: it’s sort of suspended
[23:02] Pandora: and it’s not water
[23:02] Pandora: !!!
[23:02] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: do you mean somebody over there
[23:02] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: dropped ice-cream in water some day and noticed it would
[23:02] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: float suspended in it
[23:02] Pandora: stop calling it water
[23:03] Pandora: it’s soda
[23:03] Lukasz, in Warsaw.: no im trying to analyze the phenomenon
[23:03] Pandora: no, you’re trying to obfuscate deliciousness using semantics.

Lukasz vs. Amaya (debut) [Networking opportunity.]

Lukasz. says:
11:00 pm is 3 hours too early
Lukasz. says:
to sleep.
Lukasz. says:
…

Amaya says:
you will die soon
Amaya says:
if you keep it up
Lukasz. says:
i know.
Lukasz. says:
you’re invited to the party!
Lukasz. says:
i mean
Lukasz. says:
to my funeral
Lukasz. says:
:/
Amaya says:
I dont want you to die
Lukasz. says:
there will be cookies
Amaya says:
no
Amaya says:
i woný go
Lukasz. says:
and
Amaya says:
won´t*
Lukasz. says:
a LOT
Lukasz. says:
of interesting people
Lukasz. says:
i mean it.
Amaya says:
well
Lukasz. says:
lol
Lukasz. says:
good occasion for networking.
Amaya says:
i´ll think about it
Amaya says:
no
Lukasz. says:
business cards etc.
Lukasz. says:
you know
Lukasz. says:
musicians
Amaya says:
i want to be able to meet you
Lukasz. says:
umm
Lukasz. says:
yes, that’s the only problem.
Amaya says:
not at your funeral
Lukasz. says:
fine, if you don’t want to come
Lukasz. says:
fine

Lukasz. says:
lol
Amaya says:
I truely
Amaya says:
won´t
Amaya says:
even if i could
Amaya says:
really
Amaya says:
it would be hurtful
Lukasz. says:
damn there would be so many great people
Lukasz. says:
amazing.
Lukasz. says:
i’d like to attend myself

Ish vs. Megan P. [a bag of shh.]

Pandora says:
lol, I’m going to be leaving soon
Lukasz. says:
ok.
Pandora says:
to get my bags checked for terrorist activity
Lukasz. says:
is there terrorist activity in them
Lukasz. says:
there used to be terrorist activity in my shoes with metal plates in them.
Pandora says:
I don’t think so. there are some russian books that they might think are arabic
Lukasz. says:
it’s the same risk level anyway.
Pandora says:
and a big bag of shh that I’m bringing for you….
Lukasz. says:
shit?
Lukasz. says:
sorry, I couldn’t
Lukasz. says:
resist.

Ish vs. Megan P. [Productivity.]

Pandora says:
Yearly working time right? Hours worked per year?
Lukasz. says:
yeah
Lukasz. says:
im second in the world
Lukasz. says:
…
Lukasz. says:
and you’re just awfully lazy.
Lukasz. says:
and the Koreans don’t sleep and they’re fine with it.
Lukasz. says:
or they don’t have sex.
Lukasz. says:
somebody should investigate.
Pandora says:
well you work a lot but how much are you getting done
Lukasz. says:
there’s something they don’t have for sure.
Lukasz. says:
I process about 5-10 youtube movies a day.
Lukasz. says:
see
Pandora says:
that’s pretty good productivity
Lukasz. says:
yeah
Pandora says:
Did I tell you that I get to leave the crappy town today and go home to see my cat
Lukasz. says:
i also discuss 1-2 of them daily.
Lukasz. says:
no, you didn’t, but your cat will like the idea.
Pandora says:
In a research paper?
Lukasz. says:
no, in a meeting.

Ish vs. Megan P. [The Nebraska dream.]

Pandora says:
I had a dream about you last night
Lukasz. says:
was i lying on a California beach.
Pandora says:
No, but we were like, together again. Somewhere, I don’t know where. Interacting in a normally affectionate manner, which was the weird part
Lukasz. says:
you should have checked where we were.
Pandora says:
Sorry
Lukasz. says:
what language were people speaking.
Pandora says:
Yeah I thought I’d get online and ask you where we were
Pandora says:
We were speaking english
Lukasz. says:
english
Lukasz. says:
so definitely nebraska.
Pandora says:
That would be easily recognizable as a nightmare

Ish vs. Dominika L. [Problem-solving.]

Lukasz 17:26:05
to będzie Piosenka
Lukasz 17:26:07
Matematyczna.
Dominika L. 17:26:15
nie lubie matematyki
Dominika L. 17:26:19
ale ok
Lukasz 17:26:22
tak
Lukasz 17:26:29
pt. “Parabole tańczą”
Lukasz 17:26:31
z dedykacją
Lukasz 17:26:35
dla Dominiki :*
Lukasz 17:26:35
http://j-klimek.ovh.org/
Dominika L. 17:26:41
o jezuu bede miala zaraz zawal
Lukasz 17:26:49
i już będzie po problemie :*
Lukasz 17:26:52
aaaaa
Lukasz 17:26:57
tj po tym, jak usłyszysz piosenkę
Lukasz 17:27:01
a nie po zawale :/:/:/:/:/
Lukasz 17:27:08
(faux pas miesiąca)

Ish vs. Megan P. [Megan got a Halloween costume.]

Pandora says:
I’ve gotten a halloween costume
Lukasz. says:
let me guess
Lukasz. says:
no, there’s no way i could guess.
Pandora says:
okay
Lukasz. says:
tell me
Pandora says:
a firefighter
Lukasz. says:
wow
Lukasz. says:
hot.
Pandora says:
yeah it is pretty hot actually
Lukasz. says:
good idea.
Lukasz. says:
that could be the hottest costume at the party.
Lukasz. says:
potentially
Pandora says:
it’s fireproof, luckily
Lukasz. says:
smart
Pandora says:
but it sort of squeezes my boobs together, and it’s a little short so I can’t bend over at all.
Pandora says:
and how much it must be difficult to fight fires in such a sexy outfit?
Lukasz. says:
do you mean it sort of limits your ability to climb the ladder and such.
Pandora says:
only if there are people below the ladder
Lukasz. says:
lol
Pandora says:
or above the ladder
Lukasz. says:
yes
Lukasz. says:
you’re endangered vertically , so to say.

General Pragmatic Recruitment v.1 [imported note, Polish version]

Poszukiwana kandydatka na stanowisko:

Jedna i Ostateczna
Miejsce pracy: Warszawa
Region: mazowieckie
Nr ref.: 1/OST

Umowa na okres próbny.

Osoba ta będzie odpowiedzialna za:

Współwdrożenie i współutrzymanie miłości;
Współtworzenie długoterminowego związku damsko-męskiego w oparciu o najwyższe standardy; po przedłużeniu Umowy współudział w biężącym definiowaniu ww. standardów;
Współudział we wdrażaniu Szczęścia, a w dalszej perspektywie (w razie przedłużenia Umowy) także Wspólnego Domu;
Współdecydowanie w kwestiach najważniejszych dla Związku/Domu;
Tworzenie dobrej atmosfery współpracy;
Reprezentację: dbanie o jak najlepszy wizerunek Związku/Domu;
Współudział w określaniu krótko- i długoterminowych celów Związku/Domu;
Controlling; bieżące nadzorowanie Współzwiązkowca i raportowanie stwierdzonych nieprawidłowości celem stałego doskonalenia procesów wewnętrznych.

Wymagania:

Wiek: 18-23 lata. Wiek 18-20 lat będzie dodatkowym atutem.
Płeć: 95% kobieta. 100% kobieta będzie dodatkowym atutem
Wykształcenie: licealistka/studentka dobrej uczelni
Dobra znajomość jęz. angielskiego, drugi język pożądany
Klasa społeczna: średnia i wyżej
Doświadczenie na podobnym stanowisku: nie wymagane

Idealna kandydatka będzie rozkwitająca, inteligentna, ambitna, logiczna, pewna siebie, odpowiedzialna, wysoce komunikatywna, pragmatyczna, ekstrawertyczna, wiarygodna, godna zaufania, radosna, oszczędna. Idealna kandydatka będzie miała silną wolę i w pełni sprawną głowę bez żadnych usterek wewnętrznych, wad ukrytych.

Idealna kandydatka jest kobietą, bo mężczyznę już mamy. A więc wszelkie kombinacje / hybrydy typu 50/50, 75/25 absolutnie nie wchodzą w grę. Idealna kandydatka jest w dobrej sytuacji materialnej i potrzebuje wartościowego partnera, a nie dofinansowania z Funduszu PHARE.

Idealna kandydatka ma szerokie horyzonty i jest w stanie rozmawiać ze Współzwiązkowcem na większość poruszanych przez niego tematów. Idealna kandydatka sama porusza Tematy nie robiąc z siebie przy tym Idiotki. Idealna kandydatka przynosi dumę, a nie wstyd. Idealna kandydatka stanowi wsparcie, a nie obciążenie. Idealna kandydatka jest kobietą interesującą / bogatą wewnętrznie / wysoce złożoną / jedyną w swoim rodzaju.

Idealna kandydatka jest niezwykła, niepowtarzalna, Jedna i Ostateczna.

Kandydatka jest Z GÓRY SKREŚLONA, jeżeli:

Jest brzydka / nieśmiała / zwiędła / głupia / nielogiczna / bez ambicji / nieodpowiedzialna / niewiarygodna / niekomunikatywna / łatwo ulega obcym wpływom (w tym papierosy, narkotyki, religia, subkultury) / ma słabą wolę (w tym papierosy, narkotyki) / ma wady ukryte lub odkryte w głowie / jest zamknięta w sobie / pesymistyczna / socjalistyczna / rozrzutna / niewystarczająco kobieca.

Oferuję:

Szczęśliwą, spokojną, bezpieczną Przyszłość. Miłość, spełnienie, i wsparcie.

A na dobry początek kawę.

Ish vs Megan P. [Russian Giant Cats.]

Pandora says:
The russians are breeding giant cats
Pandora says:
http://www.diesel.pp.net.ua/news/2007-02-15-104
Lukasz. says:
congratulate to them.
Lukasz. says:
they’re also sending new batches of spies to my country.
Pandora says:
lo
Pandora says:
lol
Pandora says:
and building more nuclear weapons
Lukasz. says:
if they keep banning my meat, I’ll veto their WTO accession.
Lukasz. says:
the trick is
Lukasz. says:
they say that the meat doesn’t meet their quality standards
Lukasz. says:
but the same meat is exported to all EU countries without any problem.
Pandora says:
your meat is not properly authoritarian
Lukasz. says:
i know
Lukasz. says:
how do you think
Lukasz. says:
what do they need these giant cats for.
Pandora says:
for eating americans, probably. they’re already training it with catfish and chickens
Lukasz. says:
do you suggest
Lukasz. says:
that americans taste like chicken.
Pandora says:
I’ve heard from various serial cannibals that they actually resemble pork loin.
Lukasz. says:
congratulations, we’ve just produced yet another superb dialogue.
Pandora says:
I wonder what poles taste like.
Lukasz. says:
didn’t you taste them.
Pandora says:
I tasted you, briefly, but I don’t know what i might compare it to.
Lukasz. says:
just please don’t say anchovies.